Because You Demanded It: The Double Down From KFC

I know, I know - by using the phrase "Because You Demanded It..." in the title of this post I'm assuming that: A) Someone out there is actually reading this, which at this point seems to be a rather starry-eyed hope, and that B) This (most likely fictitious) someone wants me to review this particular sandwich. Probably a reach on both counts, I know, but hey - I thought it sounded good, so sue me (again, assuming "you" are actually reading any of this). Anyway, the point is this: unless you've been living under a rock, you've no doubt heard by now of the new "sandwich" from Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC hereafter), The Double Down. In fact, as I write this, it's pretty old news. Also, I'll get to why I used quotes back there in a second, but here's the thing - say what you will about this sandwich: it's delicious, it's horrific, it's the culmination of all that's great in America, it's the culmination of all that's wrong with America, whatever. The point is, it's rare for a sandwich to become a media phenomenon before it's even officially released to the public and as such, I knew that at some point, for better or worse, I would have to weigh in (no pun intended) on this new concoction. And so I have.

Now, back to why I used quotation marks around the word "sandwich" back there. The reason is this: I'm not really sure if this qualifies as a sandwich. For all the myriad varieties of sandwiches that exist out there, they all really boil down to one basic formula: filling of some type encased by bread of some type. So the question is, if you eliminate the bread entirely and replace it with something else, is it still a sandwich? This isn't the first time this has happened, mind you. Back when all those low carb diets were the craze, people were eliminating the bread in sandwiches and using lettuce or something else instead. But I think the reason this sandwich has elicited such a strong response is that KFC appears to be giving the middle finger to convention (and people who care deeply about nutrition) and replacing the bread with fried chicken for no other reason than the simple fact that they can. This is America, after all. So anyway, I'll leave the decision of whether or not this is a sandwich up to you. I'll refer to it as such, but not everyone is. Here is one reviewer who refuses to call the Double Down a sandwich, instead referring to it as a "meat glorb". That's pretty funny.

So, with that introduction out of the way, let's go to the tale of the tape on The Double Down from KFC:

• Type of Bread: n/a Obviously, the bread is absent. In it's place you'll find two slabs of chicken which can be ordered in one of two varieties: fried or grilled.
• Condiments/Dressing(s): "Colonel's Sauce" - basically colored mayonnaise
• Toppings: Monterrey Jack and Pepper Jack cheese, Bacon

So as I mentioned before, as soon as I found out about this sandwich, I knew I would have to try it. Not because it looked incredibly delicious, or because I thought it was an amazing idea, but I guess for the same reason people climb mountains or jump out of planes or order the spiciest thing on a restaurant's menu- just to be able to say that they did it. Having said that, a curious thing happened when I went in to my local KFC to order this thing. I was embarrassed. I had never felt shame ordering something to eat before, but I kind of did on this day. I couldn't even look the cashier in the eye. In short, I hadn't felt like this since my wife sent me out to buy tampons some time ago. Anyway, I made my purchase, found a vacant corner of the restaurant and went to work. Here is another picture of my purchase and the scores:

• Quantity/Value: 3/5 - This thing set me back five bucks (actually, the sandwich was $4.99, but I opted for the combo meal which goes for $6.99. Thank goodness I did. More on that later), and as you can see from the picture at the top of the post, it's really not that big at all. I mean Han is towering over this thing. But don't let the size fool you - after I was done with this thing, it felt like I'd eaten 8 pounds of spackle. No joke.
• Originality: 5/5 - Say what you will about this thing, but there is no other place out there that I'm aware of offering a sandwich with chicken as the bread. It is, if nothing else, original. The only question now is what other over the top culinary inventions it spawns: a pizza with burritos for toppings? A donut with ice cream filling? Only time will tell.
• Appearance: 4/10 - Look at that picture right up there. Seriously. The top piece of chicken looks okay - I'll give you that. But the one on the bottom is practically bleeding grease onto the lens of my camera, the cheese looks like straight up wax (except for that fact that wax would actually melt when placed on some hot chicken), the bacon can barely even be seen, and if you look closely on the lower right, you will see my Double Down evacuating some of it's "Colonel's Sauce" onto the table. Sorry, but "seeping" is not a word I tend to associate with a good looking sandwich. Oh yeah - and good luck eating this thing without the bottom or the top practically shooting out of your hands onto the floor (which might actually be a blessing).
  
• Quality/Freshness: 5/10 - If someone takes something out from under a heat lamp to make your sandwich, it is not fresh. The end.
• Taste: 12/20 - As mentioned earlier, this sandwich is not that big. But I'm telling you, I ate this in the early afternoon and didn't eat another bite for the rest of the day. Not because I was stuffed, but because I was quasi-ill. Somehow, this sandwich managed to be dry and mind-bendingly greasy at the same time. The chicken itself wasn't half bad - it had a nice crunch and a peppery spiciness that I enjoyed. The cheese and sauce both tasted like mayo and the bacon was completely undetectable. And the salt. Sweet mercy, the salt. Thank heavens I ordered the combo meal, because without that drink, I never would have made it. It was no surprise that when looking at the nutritional info for this thing, it has enough sodium to salt your driveway. However, speaking of nutrition, as abominable as you think the Double Down might be, it still comes out ahead of The Whopper and several other popular fast food staples in terms of calories and fat. Go figure.
  

So when we add it all up, The Double Down from KFC manages a paltry 29/50, the worst score I've handed out so far in this little project. As for me, the only thing I got out of the experience (besides a gut-ache) was the ability to now say I've done it. Was it worth it? I'll let my boy Han have the last word:

Rocky Balboa from Gandolfo's

When it comes to Utah sandwich joints, there is one that holds more personal significance for me than any other - Gandolfo's. Sure the sandwiches there are solid, but the reason I will always have a special place in my heart for this spot is that it is where I had my first official date with my wife. We had met previously and even hung out together at a memorable show by the late great Elliott Smith at the now defunct Club DV8 in downtown SLC, but it was at the very sandwich shop pictured above where we first met for lunch on a warm spring day in 1999. I had a Burning Bridge, a fantastic time and the rest is history. My wife and I have returned often over the years and I've taken several friends here as well. And thus you see how my life has become inextricably entwined with a sandwich shop.

On this day, knowing that this blog project was underway, I engaged in an ordering strategy that I tend to use at places I know I'll be coming back to. That is, I just start at the top of the menu and work my way down. I've done this with the shakes at Granny's in Heber, I've done it with the burgers at Training Table, and now I'm doing it with sandwiches at Gandolfo's. So, with that in mind, I perused the menu, noted that the Rocky Balboa (all the sandwiches at Gandolfo's are named after famous New York landmarks or figures) was in the top left corner position and ordered it immediately.

Now before I get too far along here, there is one important thing to note about Gandolfo's. Although it started as a local sandwich joint/deli, it has now been bought and sold and become a national franchise. And, as with any franchise, while there are constants from location to location, in the end the quality of your experience depends upon who is running the particular location you are visiting. With that in mind, I can wholeheartedly endorse two Utah locations - the downtown location pictured above as well as the store near the University of Utah campus. It is no coincidence that both these stores are run by the same person (at least the last time I checked) who really does an incredible job.

Now then, back to the menu and my sandwich. The sandwiches on the Gandolfo's menu are divided into categories based on the meat featured in the sandwich. The Rocky Balboa was the first sandwich listed under the "Chicken Breast Sandwiches" category and as such, was the sandwich of choice today:

So, with that visual introduction to the sandwich of choice out of the way, let's examine it's composition:

• Type of Bread: Hero Roll
• Condiments/Dressing(s): Mayonnaise, Oil & Vinegar
• Toppings: Chicken Breast, Cappicola, Provolone, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion

So, as you can see, I ordered my sandwich sans onions. One of my goals of this whole project is to broaden my taste and experience new flavors and little by little I am getting there ( a short time ago, I would've X'd out the tomatoes as well, but I've been eating them more and am finally coming around). I just can't handle the onions yet. Patience, dear reader - I may yet get there.

One more brief side note before we get into the scoring for today's sandwich. As you've seen, I am using my classic Han Solo action figure as a means for you to judge scale. But it occurs to me that I haven't yet told you just how tall the figure is. So for your benefit, I took out a ruler just now and measured Han at nearly four inches tall (somewhere between three and three-quarters and four, to be precise). So, hopefully that helps you out a little if you were wondering. Now, on to the scoring:

• Quantity/Value: 4/5 - As you can see in the photo above, this is a good-sized sandwich - probably not quite a foot long, but close. With that in mind, the $7.99 price tag is reasonable, but the price : what you get ratio is not quite enough to give this one a full 5 out of 5.
• Originality: 5/5 - One of the best things about Gandolfo's is the originality of their sandwiches. Sure they have classic standards like a Reuben and a French Dip, but for the most part, their sandwiches contain combinations of ingredients that you won't find anywhere else. The combination of chicken, cappicola and provolone was somewhat reminiscent of Chicken Cordon Bleu, but with a different and unique flair.
• Appearance: 9/10 - The moment you pick up your sandwich at Gandolfo's, you're struck by its appearance. Tightly wrapped in colorful butcher paper, it's sort of like opening a Christmas present. Once you free the sandwich from it's constrictive wrappings, it bursts open to reveal all the sandwichy goodness that was heretofore held within. You've also got to love the melted cheese bridge that remains when trying to separate the two halves. Awesome. The one thing that keeps this from getting full marks is something that will affect a couple other areas as well. After making up the sandwich, it got tossed in what looked like a microwave for a few seconds. While this obviously heated the sandwich to the desired temperature, it also resulted in some of the outer portion getting dry and crusty which looked a little less than optimal.
• Quality/Freshness: 8/10 - This is where the microwaving really hurt this one. I understand that we were there on a Saturday afternoon in downtown Salt Lake and there wasn't a whole lot going on (there was one other couple in the store, which was vastly different from the bustling scene here on work days), but I just wish that the ingredients themselves could have been prepared fresh so that they would have provided the necessary heat to warm this sandwich up rather than tossing it in the microwave. That definitely hurt the freshness factor. The shredded, from-a-bag Subway type lettuce was kind of a let down as well. However, the meat and cheese were great, the bread was soft and fresh, and that is key.
• Taste: 18/20 - Again, the microwave job hurt a little. It left that weird microwaved melted plastic kind of taste with the sandwich that marred an otherwise delicious effort. As I said earlier, the combination of chicken, cured pork and melted cheese was not unlike Chicken Cordon Bleu, although a less salty version. The soft bread and melted cheese were contrasted in texture by the crunch of the lettuce and outer crust of the hero roll. The mayonnaise was just right as well - enough to provide some creaminess, but not too much to over-power everything else.

Add that all together and you have a pretty impressive score of 44/50 for today's subject, the Rocky Balboa. So there you have it - the first sandwich reviewed from Gandolfo's - a place that will always hold a special place in my heart and my stomach.